My friend who's father was very ill passed away yesterday. I am attending the funeral tomorrow and look forward to being to see my friend and hug him. I will not be attending the grave side ceremony. I feel like that is something very private. While I know his family well and would not be out of place I just do not feel comfortable with it. I also HATE the graveside part. At my own father's funeral that was the part I just melted down at. I could not watch him be lowered into the ground. I felt like I should watch like it would help me or something, but it did not. I had to turn away. For me it's not the return to earth, it's that you are leaving them. The person you love is now alone and you have to leave them there. It's the leaving that tore me up and continues to affect me for others.
My friend's father was a great man, and I feel for his family. It is such a loss for them. For my friend it's not only his Dad he lost, but his best friend, confidant, and one of the better men I have ever had the privilege to know. I know he can get through this and will but I hate that he has to.
It's put my own stuff into perspective and makes me happy family is visiting this weekend so I can just be around them, love them, and be present with them.