I have said since the beginning if I can do it anyone can. Anyone can change their life, habits and lose weight. Lately I have sort of been moving away from this. People talk to me about weight loss a lot. They approach me with their own stories, hopes, advice, or seeking advice. I have this intuition about who will be successful and who won't these days based on their language and my own history of total ish talking. I hear so much of my old self sometimes, the excuses, the whys it is so much harder for them, and the lack of accountability. I am not the authority by any means on weight loss but I have managed to sustain one, not regain weight and keep moving forward. I also feel pretty confident I will never go back to where I was for a multitude of reasons. I am so changed it would be really hard for me to override things now and creep back to that place. I have some lingering fears and do not want to get over confident but my entire attitude and approach has changed and therefore so have the outcomes. Can I regain 10 pounds? Absolutely. Do I think I could regain 100? Absolutely not.
The further along I mentally progress the more I see what enables someone to be successful. It's honesty. It's being willing to go beyond a diet and look at the underlying reasons you have a wonky relationship with food. It is calling yourself out, holding yourself accountable and leaving any and all blame game behind. People just want to address the food. Cut calories, not eat carbs, reduce their fat and while this might get 20, 40, 50 pounds off it will not enable you to change your lifestyle. The problems, issues, impulses that led you to weight gain are still there and waiting to get you the second your focus is off a diet. A diet is nice way to distract yourself from the job that makes you nuts and eat your feelings, or the relationship that makes you feel really bad about yourself, or whatever it is that tells you taking care of yourself is not a priority. You have to be willing to get honest, accountable, and like yourself. If you like yourself you will start to believe you are worth the end results of a healthy lifestyle. This is not easy. It's hard to realize that you need to change. We're taught to not change be who were are, but sometimes wires get crossed and who've we become is not actually a person but a collection of defenses, insecurities, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I was not who I thought I was, not at all. I literally said to my nutritionist the first time I met her, " I think I'm awesome I just want to deal with this weight problem." She replied, " I wonder how much you actually believe that. ". I laugh now but for a while I cringed and just how arrogant that statement was. How in the world could I have really believed and said that out loud? Thank god, Marisa is an incredible professional and saw right through that really poor attempt at bravado. How could I have thought that things were so neat, and simple, that you could be so overweight and just separate yourself and reality? I needed a major reality for many reasons, beyond my health and my weight but my mental health was clearly questionable at this point.
I had to make a decision, was I willing to humble myself, accept I did not know who I was and no longer had my best interests at heart and try something different or was I going to keep going in the same circle. I was finally willing to admit that despite having a pretty great career, and many other classically adult trappings I did not have emotional success. I was miserable, unhappy and here's the real shocker it had very little to do with my weight. I did not think I was awesome. I did not think or feel awesome at all and being honest about this finally and relieving myself of keeping up the charade felt amazing and liberating. It was a first step to reclaiming and connecting with who I am. I chose different and I have never been happier with a decision in my life. I hear so many other people though who do not choose different. They do not want to accept that they have a problem that is not just their stomach, thighs, or love of fried chicken. There is something else and just like any other physical ailment they would seek treatment for they need to treat this.
I want to believe that anyone who wants to can lose weight, change their lifestyle and be wildly successful at it, but you have to look beyond potential and see reality. Not everyone is willing to be humble, vulnerable, and not everyone hurts bad enough to seek whatever solution there is out there. We all make our own decisions, and are responsible for our health and sometimes we want to be and sometimes we don't. Lately I have been going out super late and having one too many cocktails. So far it has not impacted my weight but it's definitely not the healthiest thing to be doing. Alcohol is not terribly important to me so I find it a smidge odd I have been going out a whole real lot. Is it harmless, is it unhealthy? I don't know time to ask myself. Time to check back in and hold myself accountable, not the company I have been keeping, the tasty cocktails being offered, or the stress that might be fueling the need to gallivant. I have to ask myself because I do have goals I want to reach and making excuses depletes energy I need for the elliptical later.