Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Word Plus Size is Gross






I was doing a little research for my next FitPerez.com video and came across a really obnoxious article. My topic was not plus size fashion, so much as how to deal with the wardrobe nonsense losing weight throws your way. It's an annoying problem to have the constant shifting. What people forget is that you do not just get smaller, but your entire body changes. I had to adjust to this, my whole shape changed and had changed since the last time I saw it. I get clothes, I get dressing for your shape, and I was excited to do this for FP. I did however want to poke around and see if there were any tips I was not thinking of. I stumbled on to this one site that basically instead of offering any real constructive tips just reinforced that your body is bad, should be covered, and there should be no joy taken in it. I found it really negative and also wrong. I think just because your body is curvy or not the industry standard you do not have to dress to a whole different standard. Every single body has to be dressed specifically for it to best highlight it. You have to learn your body and not be told to wear long jackets to hide lumps and bumps (for real, why not suggest a monks robe?). 

Women have enough negative body image they put on themselves but to see people suggesting advice that really is about hiding your body just made me angry. There is a lot to be said for people who hold themselves with confidence and embrace their bodies. I love Nicki Minaj for her embracing and celebrating of her body. Have you ever seen her booty? It's magnificent. I truly have a butt crush on it. I love that she's not wearing things that cover it up but instead performing in a bedazzled catsuit. Would that be right for me? No, I would feel a little nakey and afraid something I did not want the world to see would pop out, but I love that she does it.

I am pushing myself to let go of my own negative body image and the more I do the more I react to people's own self negging and the reinforcement of it. I hate the word plus size. Why is it not just size? Calling it just a size is not endorsing unhealthiness or obesity. I know there are lots of women out there who have really fit, toned, incredible bodies that are a not a size 8, 10, or 12 but gasp bigger. They are only plus awesome not size and very little of it should be covered up or told it's wrong.

I struggle with thinking men find me attractive. This is for a few reasons, but predominantly it's because I don't get hit on, or approached by them. Dumb I know but hey not all fears or any fears really are rational.  One of my animators, who is 24 years old, and a skinny, hipstery dude, a type I would think I would be as appealing to as a male bison gave me the best compliment ever. It stopped me dead in my tracks, and has made me feel a shift in my own body revolution. He asked me why I don't make moves on guys, and amongst several other reasons I said well part of me thinks I am too fat. I also admitted that I knew that was a little cray cray and why I still see Marisa once a week for the record. He said 1. you are not fat, he then confirmed that we were in fact off the clock and friends and I was not his boss at this point in time, and I said yes, and  2. when it comes to you and your figure I have one word, damn, this was said in a more daaayyyum fashion. I will take a damn any day and it brightened my entire night and made me think very differently about my body. Sometimes it takes one damn to make you rethink years of gross. My body is not gross, or undesirable. The perception of curves and women who do not fit some sort of model/mold that no one can define being wrong or needing to be covered is gross.

11 comments:

  1. I totally agree. And it's a freeing thing to view yourself without the gross eyes. I don't look at my body with grossness anymore. I shared my FUPA, which I thought was gross at the time, and after that, and after seeing 'real' women, I no longer feel gross. It's such a nice thing. It saddens me now how many women I know who loath their bodies. So sad.

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  2. AMEN, SISTER! Seriously -- I could not agree more. And one of the weirdest things about that site you stumbled across is that their lengthy list of rules contains at least a couple of contradictions. Did anyone else notice that?
    P.S. You can definitely add my name to the list of people who have a massive crush on Ms. Minaj's booty.

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  3. Hannah Banana- It is freeing to take away the gross eyes. The gross eyes take up a lot more energy then being positive or embracing. I LOVE your FUPA post and follow up, but what I also loved is the response you got. I read a lot of the comments. I loved that women were all sharing and you were not met with crickets. I just think there is a difference between wishing some elements were different and overall thinking your body is gross. I read a line on another blog once something along the lines of how can you ever expect your body to change if you don't love it? Very true.

    Samara- I KNOW! there are contradictions all over the place. What I hated the most was they managed to take every last bit of joy out of clothes. That's a crime. We should start a Ms. Minaj's Booty Fan Club. I kid my trainer that's what I want to look like. He's like uhm..yeah...you just might not be able to build that much muscle. Considering I started with absolutely no booty and now have a baby booty I have to dream big for motivation.

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  4. This was such a good read. I need to stop looking at myself with gross eyes. Why is that SO hard!

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  5. Kelly- Thanks Kelly. I think it's hard because it's a habit. We're just used to saying negative or thinking negatively, and very few people intervene to stop you. Think about it with friends they might shush you but immediately they will also talk about their own dislikes, magazines are telling us what areas to target and change, it's endless. When I first decided to stop dieting I quit reading anything related to dieting, tips, suggestions, foods that burn fat that sort of stuff so basically any magazine for a while. Marisa was the only person I spoke to about food. I am doing something similar about body image. I am not reading or indulging in negative body image in myself or others.

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  6. I enjoy reading your blog, but I wanted to say that although Nicki Minaj is working her body she has gotten that body through numerous plastic surgeries. And as a young woman its disapointing to see these women alter the bodies so much, its sends me and other young women the message that what your born with isnt good enough :-(

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  7. Chanelaftercoco- Thank you! I love your blog and yellow nail polish.


    Anon- Well color me sheepish. I had no idea she had plastic surgery. Your body absolutely is good enough do not let anyone else let you think it isn't starting with yourself.

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  8. I loved what you said about how one "dayumm" can make you rethink years of telling yourself otherwise. It is completely true, and I think unless you have personally experienced it, you can't understand how that one word can literally open your eyes to a new way of seeing yourself. I had a guy call me beautiful, exactly the way I was. I don't know why I chose to believe that, but after years of feeling fat and never good enough, I finally feel gorgeous as I am. Thank you for validating that possibility.

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  9. Claire- Thank you for sharing your own one word moment. It's really funny how it can happen and how if you let yourself you can actually hear it. It makes a nice change from discounting it right? Thanks for following my blog, I checked yours out I can't wait to read it.

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  10. Thanks for the post, so funny though about the Nicki Minaj butt. As an AA woman in our culture big butts and hips have always been an asset and not something to cover up. Hence the reason Nicki got butt implants and shows it off in a bedazzled catsuit!

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