Thursday, January 6, 2011
Bear with me
All the recent comments have me catching feelings. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for reading, commenting, following. All of it. It really means so much to me. I was watching a documentary the other night and a lady filmaker being interviewed said about why she makes the films she does, " if it's not said then everyone will think they are the only one." That quote completely sums up and defines why I am doing this. I felt so alone and like why can't anyone help me. Why can no doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, diet, book, you name it help me? When I started treatment I finally realized I just wasn't that cool. I was not so super unique, special or beyond comprehension. I was a part of someone bigger then I felt at that time. Marisa is so amazing at what she does and even though when I started I didn't like her because she called me out and saw behind my wall I respected her. I not only respected her but felt comforted so much by the fact that I was not the only one. She asked me have you ever felt this way and I was shocked, things I had never told anyone or even acknowledged to myself. Pretty powerful stuff for me at that point in time. It made me have to get honest and realize it was now or never. I either admitted I wasn't happy, I was worn out pretending I was and I needed and wanted help or I struggled and remained unhappy. I was ready to bring the wall down. Discovering this and finding success I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to tell every person I knew who dieted or was unhappy with their weight. I feel less compelled to do that now. I just feel compelled to say you are not alone. You deserve to have the body you want, to feel good in your body and mind and you can do it. It does not matter what anyone has told you including yourself, you can do it. You are far stronger then you know. I thought I was tough stuff two years ago. I was a marshmallow compared to who I am now. It was a shell. A facade. It wasn't real. Now I am physically strong and mentally strong and can continue to share, struggle, learn and grow and I am lucky enough to do it with all of you. I am so lucky and grateful. We all have to save ourselves but we do not have to do it alone.