This is Why I am Single

• I have a few remarks about this....
  
  #1 Who invites a stranger over to their apartment at 1am and does not acknowledge that it's uber creepy? What girls are going over? My mind boggles at this. Truly boggles.
  
  #2 I clearly state I do not do drugs and this is how you engage me?
  
  #3 Yeah I totally used my excess skin as a way to shut it down, which worked and I feel bad about that. I am sorry body, that sends you a negative message. He's the weirdo not you, love Anna.
  
  Here it starts:
  
  
  

  I was going to invite you over to smoke, since I hate to do it 

  alone, but your profile says you don't do drugs. Is weed a drug? 

  AaronSent from the OkCupid app

  Report this

  16% Enemy76% Friend87% MatchMessage from 
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 12:56am
  

  I don't consider it one, but I think it technically is. Bummer right? What else do you get up to besides high? I am trying to get independent contractor status at a company that drug tests so I so no smoking for me.
  Anna
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 12:58am
  

  Shame Anna. I guess we just have to skip the weed, have a few shots of grey goose and see how the night goes. I'm on 56th and 1st. Bored, awake. Watching "as good as it gets". Wanna come by?Sent from the OkCupid app

  Report this
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:08am
  

  While you seem nice and I am pretty sure you're not going to put me in a cage and poke me with things no can do. I'm away working. 
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:09am
  

  Well then hoW about a Raincheck? Sent from the OkCupid app

  Report this
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:11am
  

  Doubtful. 
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:15am
  

  P.S. You always inviting random girls over to your apartment on Friday nights? That concerns me for your safety sir. Only half kidding.
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:19am
  

  I don't do this ever. Special mood tonight and kinda have a good feeling about you. Do you reply to all crazy emails?
  AaronSent from the OkCupid app

  Report this
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:21am
  

  Only the crazy ones, that have a dollop of charm.
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:22am
  

  I'll take a red and white omelet from sarabeth's with a dollop of sour cream. That's what that word reminds me of. Haha. So what else should I know about you? Prefer to text or keep this up?Sent from the OkCupid app

  Report this
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:29am
  

  Well I just had surgery like a week ago on my arms and miss being able to use them freely. True story. Nothing major I did not get t-rex arms or anything. That would be the most immediate pertinent information. What should I know? You seem like a handful. Should I proceed with caution?
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:31am
  

  What was wrong with your arms? What's the recovery? What can you do with them now? Me. Lots. But I don't just type about myself!!Sent from the OkCupid app

  Report this
• 
  Apr 28, 2012 – 1:40am
  

  Truth? I lost a bunch of weight and got the excess skin taken off. Now that you're probably horrified by my overshare I am going to ask you to share something.
• 
  
  
  
  

  
  

Dating & Recovery

I mentioned that I have been taking my painkillers and getting on okcupid. I think there are a few things at play here. 1. I'm definitely a little relaxed with percoset on my side. 2. I do feel more confident with my wings removed. I started feeling this shift before I had the actual surgery. I did feel this boost to my confidence and this sense of just overall caring less. I am just less afraid of rejection. I mean really when you think about it what is the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is someone is like no thanks you are not the one for me. When you don't know that person it's not really all that bad. When you are okay with who you are you care even less.

I talk to my guy friends a lot about dating. I mean they are straight men and those are my target audience might as well hear what they have to say. They all have this attitude of yeah rejection sucks but next, move on, on to the next. I just never got how they did that. I would experience some sort of rejection, retreat, lick my wounds and think about how I could better myself to avoid it in the future. Wait a minute why am I thinking about changing myself based on one person who I do not know. It's ridiculous. I think being happier in my own skin has really helped me be able to shrug my shoulders and embrace this notion of next.

So I've been putting myself out there more. I revamped my profile to be more accurate to who I am. I was clearer in what I was looking for. I responded politely to some thanks but no thanks, I engaged with others I was interested in, I sent messages to guys I found interesting. I'm telling you I have been on a bit of a tear. This has worked in my favor. Less of the guys who probably message 8000 girls hoping one will respond have been coming my way. More guys who are guys I would probably actually like to meet have been coming my way. Here's the thing I have been chatting with two specifically I would like to meet. We've gotten to that point of I don't think you will be crazy or in my case I don't think you will put in a cage and poke things at me. My issue is as my friend Katie coined them the chastity sleeves, how does one date with compression sleeves? I mean there is nothing less sexy then these bad boys. Part of me wants to just go out meet these dudes for a drink and see if there's anything there, the other part of me wants to wait until after the 7th to see if I get to take my sleeves off first. So annoying. The thing is some guys I have told oh I had surgery on my arms recently but not why. I just said it was nothing serious but I was recovering. To one guy who I was pretty sure was a nutjob, I mean he invited me over to his apartment at 1am to smoke pot, I told the truth. Not surprisingly after refusing to come over, and sharing I had excess skin removed I have not heard from him. Thank you arm surgery for that. I am not in anyway ashamed of it, but it's just not something I feel like getting into with someone before I have even met them. It's sort of weird spot I did not anticipate being in.

In other news I was a sleeve rebel yesterday. I desperately needed to clean them and my arm pits were super angry. I think they just needed a break from being rubbed by the sleeves. Katie came over to help me with some cleaning I could not do. If that's not love I do not know what it is. Anyway I snapped a shot of my arm so you can see the scar. If you're squeamish stop scrolling now. If you're curious then come on down and see the arm show. Lets agree to never discuss the state of my hairy armpits m'kay? I am pretty pleased with the progress, and hope they keep healing nicely and in a few weeks I can start scar prevention...and dating...

See my toddler fat rolls from the swelling. Going to miss those rolls. 

My hand was not removed in surgery, promise. This discoloration is from the betadine I still can not get the eff off. Seriously what is it mixed with? Super glue? I promise I am showering. 

New Arms New Season New Giveaway

I was getting coffee one morning and the girl in front of me in line had on the coolest shirt. I complimented it and she told me she runs a website where she takes vintage clothes and makes them more flattering for curvy girls. How amazing is that? She gave me her card and immediately checked it out and ordered a dress. To help everyone get ready for summer, or to help one lucky lady, tell me what you are most looking forward to or what trend you want to roll with this summer and I will treat you to any one item on Ose's website.   Now if you're not a curvy girl don't worry she has accessories to! All you have to do to enter is comment, and tell me what you're looking forward to for spring or summer or what trend you want to embrace. If you want two chances to win start following my blog and leave me a comment that you did. If you already follow my blog and want a double entry tell me I'm pretty. Just kidding, that would be weird. If you already follow then post it on your blog maybe? Actually I would just appreciate it if you did that because giveaways are fun!  I'll pick a winner a week from Friday on 5/4. 

Dress I got. It's amazing.






**** UPDATE**** If clothes are not your bag I will happily treat you to TWO items from the lovely Chelsea's shop that is a lovely little shop. I have several things from there I love including this lil beauty pictured here.

Oh Happy Day

I have a soft spot for gospel music for many reasons. I grew up listening to it, one of my favorite work projects was a 14 city gospel choir competition and lets face it what music better expresses when you are thrilled. Yesterday was a great day and I just singing "Oh Happy Day" to myself. Why you ask, well you know I am going to tell you in more words then necessary. 

One, when I took a shower I noticed my arms are looking less and less like a super chubby toddlers. From the swelling I've had these fat roll sort of wrinkles. They are going away. On a boo note my right arm pit is still very angry and I am actually heading to the doctor today because it looks like it's on the cusp of an infection. Better to see him and figure it out then head towards the weekend. I'm not worried but I am relieved I get to see him this afternoon. I was going to just put some neosporin on it but after searching the interwebz I found out that is a BAD idea on healing surgical wounds. It actually creates an environment for infection and attracts more goop to attach to it. The more you know. Also hydrogen peroxide which many of us probably grew up having our moms dump on skinned knees is only good for fresh wounds because it also kills live tissue. Another no no because I need the live tissue to heal! In fact killing that would be a big problem right now. Good to know. This is why you call your doctor and patiently wait for the call back and not try to fix yourself when you do not have a medical degree. I need to remind myself of these sort of things. 

Two, I swung by IFC because I needed to drop something off. It was so nice to see everyone, and to get greeted like a long lost pal. Even better they booked me starting tomorrow! I am a little nervous about going back to work so quickly but I feel fine I am just still a little worn out. I am going to be working with a buddy of mine so I feel pretty good about this being okay despite being a week out of surgery. They booked me for two solid weeks and said it may end up being longer. I will take it. I was not hugely sweating my finances because well it's not going to get me anywhere but I do have a lot of them coming my way. There's the fixed, my bestie is getting married in July and I do not want to be cheap about her bridal festivities and the wishes I really want to go to Iceland this summer. I hate feeling limited by funds. Who doesn't, but the thing about freelance is you're not sure what you can and cannot spend. It's like sure I can afford the new mattress I want, but should I not knowing what I will be doing in a week? That's taxing. 

I am really lucky this came my way and I felt like I had to leap on it despite probably needing to rest another week. A rest week does not get me paid and I will actually be less stressed knowing my bank account is getting a little top up and I am strengthening my relationship with a client I really love. 

Three, KNICKS! What a game...oh my lord I was dying. They had a 20 point lead and then in the 4th Quarter it came down to just a few points but then they won 99 to 93. The win was great the night was better. I went with one of my guy friends and one of his friends and Katie. My friend's friend is awesome. He's a really sweet, funny, successful filmmaker, who works with his girlfriend and just down to earth and cool. Their movie premiered at Tribeca the night before he had been doing press all day and he was just the coolest. I have a lot of respect for people who could be jerks or full of themselves and are not. As he was walking up my friend says to me your mind is about to be blown. I'm like oh my, and he shows up with flowers in knicks colors. Hilarious. I mean one what girl doesn't like flowers, but also is knicks colors? Puhlease. Amazing. The knicks play at Madison Square Garden which is a massive arena so the fact that I ran into someone I know from the company I used to work for is funny. Even funnier they just had a massive walk out of staff, and he was asking me what are you up to, are you booked, I need to talk to you, is your cell still the same. Odd. Let me just say I would default on every bill I have before I would work for them. He's a good guy though and I'm hoping he more knows someone who is looking for someone then trying to lure me in.I also think I might be turning Katie into a knicks fan. Awesome. I love a conversion. She also rocked the fan appreciation headband after styling it Nicole Ritchie-esque. After the game we saw the great Clyde Frazier outside and got pics! Poor fella was desperately looking for his car getting mobbed by people. I ended up wearing my compression sleeves because well I want to be less swollen more then I want to look cool. Plus my scar is not so awesome looking right now so what's the point in showing it and not just that I mean it's a sports arena do I really want to expose it to all those germies? I decided not to be dumb and keep my ish wrapped. My friends were great at arm defense, but a few times they hit my arms excited and it didn't hurt but their faces were priceless. Lucky for me where I am sensitive is not really hittable.

So overall oh happy day indeed. I feel so happy and grateful for my life right now. I really do. I am wingless, have work for two weeks, and the knicks are in the playoffs. Not much else could improve it. 

Me and Clyde. Notice my knicks flowers. I felt like the Queen of the knicks. 

Katie and I. I wasn't ruining my blow out for a sweatband. Sorry Knicks. 

1 Week

Well today ended a lot different then it did a week ago. I have to say considering I had surgery a week ago I am feeling pretty darn good. I mean I smell, walk like an old lady, and wear hoodies zipped all the way up to my chin to hide my child leash but doing pretty good. A few highs and lows today:

Highpoint! I lost 5 pounds from surgery. Considering how swollen I still am I am impressed. I was very curious to see how my weight would be impacted. I really hope I did not have that much hanging off my arms. A little icky.

Low Point! I ended up watching The Client List...Jennifer Love Hewitt's new show on Lifetime. Seeing as I am not an older lady or J Love fan this is a low point but I am running out of things to watch. Even worse, I watched 3 episodes.

Highpoint! Pretty sure I convinced my friend Kim to go to Iceland with me this summer. We're looking at August. Anyone ever been? Any advice? I just wanna see some wild ponies, weird landscapes, and Bjork.

Low Point! My armpits hurt really bad. They are super irritated and sore. You don't realize what a suckfest this is until your armpits turn against you. Bad enough they are hairy (seriously, this kills me) and smell but they have to hurt to? No es bueno. Also my nerves are waking up. I was warned this would happen and actually I am pretty lucky. I do not have much numbness. If anything I can feel a lot. People also have issues with nerves being pinched in surgery. I do not seem to be having any of that. I am however having weird chills, tingles, and sometimes little shocks. I mean they're tiny but still weird. Everyone once and a while I'm like WHAT THE EFF was that. I mean I feel like my arms are hot dogs in a microwave that might explode at any second they are so swollen so the feelings (not to be confused with eeee-moo-shuns) were completely freaking me out. Then I climbed off the ledge checked that my arms had not in fact exploded and reminded myself that they have been shot up with a ton of stuff that is now wearing off and the nerve endings are beginning to wake up. I feel like my nerves are saying we're here bitches, they're an agressive lot.


Highpoint! Knicks game tomorrow, and everyone is ready to be my arm-guard. They are all prepped to play arm defense. I am on the fence about wearing my compression sleeves. I don't want to because well I am vain, but I feel like I will be worried the whole time if I don't. Oh these arms of mine. Cue Otis Redding.

Low Point! I have an expensive juice habit going on. I just feel like green juice is helping me heal. I also find it delicious. Organic Avenue should not be in walking distance from my apartment. I did one of their shooters today that tasted like pond water so it has to be healthy right? I should just by a juicer. Anyone have one? Any advice on what to buy or look for?

Highpoint! My mom has the amazing pillows I complimented and she ordered me two that arrived today. Woo hooo deluxe nest of recovery tonight! I am VERY exciting.

What's going on with everyone else? What are your highs and lows?

For a Good Time

Take your prescribed pain meds and get on ok cupid. I have very little fear. This will probably end in tears. I have no idea why 22 year old boys want to call me a cutie and talk to me but it's hilarious. Some of the other guys are cool though. I mean flirting passes the time because I can only watch so much bad TV. I am also running out of reading material. Any book suggestions people? Save me from 22 year olds.

In other news saw the good doctor today. He says I am healing well. I asked him how much he actually removed from me and he said oh we didn't weigh it. Bummer. He did however show me with his hands what he took off my arms and it was astounding. Roughly a foot in length and 4-6 inches in width. As for the thighs he said liters. As in plural. Gross. The thighs are still swollen beyond belief. When I disrobed because god forbid I get to keep my clothes on for a day he said yikes I really beat you up didn't I. Yes you did sir, you most certainly did. The swelling and bruising gets better daily. I have to say I do not judge plastic surgery. I mean clearly. I do however want to ask people who get plastic surgery who do not need it WTF? Lipo is no joke. I think it gets put out there that it's simple. It's not. I am still sore to the point that I can not walk long distances, and I feel aware of my legs every step. I mean maybe once the swelling goes down and I am left with deflated legs I will better appreciate why I was so swollen. I feel really differently about lipo now. I was under the impression it was not a big deal. I mean it's barbaric as a procedure but I thought in this day and age it was no big deal. Judging by the bruising, swelling, and general messed up ness of my thighs it is still a big deal. I have to say if you have a little chub you are thinking about lipo'ing just go to the gym. For real. No work out has ever hurt me like this has, and you don't look like you are smuggling eggplants by your knees.

Now in other things to whine about...I can't shave my armpits for two more weeks! Two! I also can not wear deodorant until the end of the week. I am not sure I can make it. I mean I have to and lord knows it's going to burn, but I smell. My mom lucky duck is convinced he took out her sweat glands because she is not sweating nor is she smelling. I was not at first either and then boom it was like puberty all over again. One of my steri-strips covering my incision got stuck to my compression sleeve giving me both a heart attack and making my mom question my sanity. I sort of got it stuck back on and was afraid my arm was going to fall apart. Today when I see him I mention it and he can see it's shifted. What does he do but just rip that thing off. I almost died. Let me rephrase that I almost punched him in the junk and then died. It did not hurt that bad, but it was more just terrifying. I'm like these are VERY sensitive sir, don't be charging in and ripping ish off. Give a girl some warning why don't you. I don't care if you created them, I am very protective right now and rightly so. My mom tried to hug me and I acted like she was going to assault me. I'm a wee bit fearful of pain right now, or ruining things. The steri-strips though make the incision look worse so I am pleased to see the scar while icky is not awful. I have hope that once I can start slathering on the Vitamin E oil and using scar stuff they will be just fine. I can not put anything on them for 4 weeks. So hopefully in 3-4 weeks I will be back to working out, not wearing a weird garment that looks like a cross between a child restraint/straight jacket, and buying stock in vitamin e. Anyone have any scar remedy suggestions? Anything you've tried that worked?

honestly these are flattering photos, the one time a cell phone helps

hot right? 

My super cool never nude suit. I mean compression garments. I have to wear the sleeves and leggings 24/7 for now.