Dating & Recovery

I mentioned that I have been taking my painkillers and getting on okcupid. I think there are a few things at play here. 1. I'm definitely a little relaxed with percoset on my side. 2. I do feel more confident with my wings removed. I started feeling this shift before I had the actual surgery. I did feel this boost to my confidence and this sense of just overall caring less. I am just less afraid of rejection. I mean really when you think about it what is the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is someone is like no thanks you are not the one for me. When you don't know that person it's not really all that bad. When you are okay with who you are you care even less.

I talk to my guy friends a lot about dating. I mean they are straight men and those are my target audience might as well hear what they have to say. They all have this attitude of yeah rejection sucks but next, move on, on to the next. I just never got how they did that. I would experience some sort of rejection, retreat, lick my wounds and think about how I could better myself to avoid it in the future. Wait a minute why am I thinking about changing myself based on one person who I do not know. It's ridiculous. I think being happier in my own skin has really helped me be able to shrug my shoulders and embrace this notion of next.

So I've been putting myself out there more. I revamped my profile to be more accurate to who I am. I was clearer in what I was looking for. I responded politely to some thanks but no thanks, I engaged with others I was interested in, I sent messages to guys I found interesting. I'm telling you I have been on a bit of a tear. This has worked in my favor. Less of the guys who probably message 8000 girls hoping one will respond have been coming my way. More guys who are guys I would probably actually like to meet have been coming my way. Here's the thing I have been chatting with two specifically I would like to meet. We've gotten to that point of I don't think you will be crazy or in my case I don't think you will put in a cage and poke things at me. My issue is as my friend Katie coined them the chastity sleeves, how does one date with compression sleeves? I mean there is nothing less sexy then these bad boys. Part of me wants to just go out meet these dudes for a drink and see if there's anything there, the other part of me wants to wait until after the 7th to see if I get to take my sleeves off first. So annoying. The thing is some guys I have told oh I had surgery on my arms recently but not why. I just said it was nothing serious but I was recovering. To one guy who I was pretty sure was a nutjob, I mean he invited me over to his apartment at 1am to smoke pot, I told the truth. Not surprisingly after refusing to come over, and sharing I had excess skin removed I have not heard from him. Thank you arm surgery for that. I am not in anyway ashamed of it, but it's just not something I feel like getting into with someone before I have even met them. It's sort of weird spot I did not anticipate being in.

In other news I was a sleeve rebel yesterday. I desperately needed to clean them and my arm pits were super angry. I think they just needed a break from being rubbed by the sleeves. Katie came over to help me with some cleaning I could not do. If that's not love I do not know what it is. Anyway I snapped a shot of my arm so you can see the scar. If you're squeamish stop scrolling now. If you're curious then come on down and see the arm show. Lets agree to never discuss the state of my hairy armpits m'kay? I am pretty pleased with the progress, and hope they keep healing nicely and in a few weeks I can start scar prevention...and dating...

See my toddler fat rolls from the swelling. Going to miss those rolls. 

My hand was not removed in surgery, promise. This discoloration is from the betadine I still can not get the eff off. Seriously what is it mixed with? Super glue? I promise I am showering.