So I get a text from Katie I found a dress at Banana Republic I love and want everyone in text me your size. I am the maid of honor so at that point she didn't care if I matched. We realized though the dress I had bought was going to look weird so we were like okay need to figure this out. She being the super sleuth she is found the dress at a location in a size 12. Size of relief it's done. Nope. I was silly again. I am wearing for the most part a size 12. On top I am a 10, and often a medium. My hips however I are still, well hippy. I get the dress from her this week. I get home and can not get the damn thing over my hips. I could have tried to force it, but I was pretty sure I would rip it. To say this thing had no give would be a gross understatement. Katie her self described it as wearing a sheet of steel. It's silk taffeta so yeah not exactly like my beloved jeggings.
We formulate a plan of attack. We meet at mood fabrics of Project Runway fame, channel our inner Tim Gunn and decide to make it work. Mood was an exercise in comedy until we found the cutest guy who was super helpful. We tried to talk him into making the dress. I think we scared him. Sorry, Nate we were just high on fabric matching victory. We're thinking we'll make a dress that looks like the other just all in one color. Post mood visit it was off to Stanislav to talk dress making.
Stanislav is an older Ukrainian gentleman and now my favorite person on the planet. At first I hated him because he told me having a custom made dress was going to cost $2500-$3000. Uhm...what? For that I could have something way more amazing then a bridesmaid dress and you better believe there would be some sort of bling involved. Katie despite her olive complexion is starting to look pale and green at this point. I flip into producer mode. I am like I really will not accept there is no other solution here. He measures the dress, and then measures me. He's like yep it's off by 4 inches, 2 inches on each side, you are half a size too big for it. He measures me again and he's praises my measurements. It was hilarious. It definitely softened the blow of being too big for a dress. He measures my bust, waist, and hips, and says very nice, they're very good. I tell him yep, they do not make them like me too often anymore. He gets fired up and suggests since we have the matching fabric and really do not need much added to the dress we create panels on the side and change the bottom a little bit and make the dress work better for my body. He says we'll make the silhouette more complementary and fit you exactly. I warned him I am losing weight, I highly doubt I will get 4 inches off by July but I have been losing at least 1-2 pounds a week. He says, don't lose too much, you're lovely. Seriously could have kissed this man.
I feel pretty good about myself, but things of this nature are definitely a danger zone for me. They feel familiar, big events where I would panic about what I could or would wear. I am used to a history of not fitting, or not being the one who matches or whatever. A big reason of why I did my arms when I did was so I would not have to have my wings hanging out at the wedding. I really did not want one more big event where I felt like I had to hide something or be uncomfortable. I was feeling a bit down that so the arms are better but now the hips are the issue. The hips are not really the issue. The issue is I have a body type that needs to be dressed accordingly. I am small on top and bigger on the bottom, like roughly a bajillion other women. I also have a large rib cage to boot and there is not a lot I can do about that. It's interesting learning to embrace these things and see them outside of weight. I am learning my body outside of a weight comparison but trying to see it for what it is. My shape has little to do with weight, it's my body type. Embracing these things and not defending, shunning, or apologizing for them is taking some practice. It really helps when you work with someone like a Stanislav who embraces your shape and wants to highlight it. It also helps to have a Katie who wants you to feel and look great even if she does not really get what Stanislav is cooking up. I am lucky to have measurements that make a guy want to measure me again, and I am learning to embrace that.