I have never been so pleased to see a Friday. I have had beyond a trying week. What I absolutely love though is I kept my ish together. I did not turn on myself, get too frazzled, angry, stressed out, or too far down the stress rabbit hole. Don't get me wrong there were several moments I seriously considered fleeing. I keep my passport in my wallet at all times for a reason. You never know when you just might crack and need to leave. I have been stressed on personal fronts, I feel like I am ignoring my mom, my apartment is a disaster, my finances have been left a little too on their own and now I am paying for it, and I did not eat so well this week. On an even bigger bummer note I had to miss FitBloggin'. I have been on the road for work, and have more projects going on right now then I can remember. It's a sucky part of my job. Sometimes your personal life just does not matter. The work comes first. The blessing is I can not keep up with the projects and have to worry a little less about my company's bottom line. I seriously can not keep up with the work, and I have had to delegate more effectively, ask for help, prioritize and accept I am not perfect, will not get everything right or done. I also will not be able to do everything the way I would normally like to. I just can't. I would like everything to be perfectly handled, all tidy, efficient, with my hair done nicely and a smile on my face. Instead it was as close to excellent as it could get and staying on top of the wave the best I could. I also happened to lose power twice at work losing the work people had been working on, had our back up/restore machine break when I needed to restore 4 projects, a co-worker who I suspect in the midst of a mental breakdown and the hits just kept coming. Overall there were some days the desire to eat my feelings was so overwhelming it left me hungry all day. I ate 3 cookies on Tuesday. Not just any cookies but coconut, chocolate chip, macadamia nut. I mean if you're going to eat your feelings better make it good. I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway. I did however throw half of one away. That felt good. It felt good to go yeah I know what's up and why I am doing this and despite giving myself permission to proceed pump the brakes. Plus I felt gross and I hate feeling gross. The bad thing about not eating your feelings anymore is that when you want to you really can't anymore. Your belly becomes a traitor.
What I did not lose sight of this week is...I made it to the gym every single night. I assure you every night I did not want to work out. I wanted to crawl into bed but I didn't. I did feel better post work outs and knew I really did need that. I went to bed earlier then usual every night, and I kept it together. Despite having a week that could have left me miserable, cranky, and unable to shake the stress and let it leak into what time I did have for me I did things wiser for myself. I practiced healthier self soothing techniques. I did yoga in the mornings to get my game face on. I took care of myself and kept it in perspective, and laughed at a lot of the misery. It's one week. Things happen. It gets messy. I can roll with it. I can keep it together. It was really lovely to see this tested, and come out alright. I'm worn out and brewing a mega headache but that could be fun the super tight bun I have been rocking thanks to monsoon season not stress, but I am okay. I would like a cocktail served to be in a big gulp cup, and some REALLY bad mindless TV but I have more work to do and the end is not totally in sight yet. It is Friday and this weekend I plan to work out, eat clean and get back on track. The best part is I do not have too far to go to find that track.