Friday, May 20, 2011

What a Week

I have never been so pleased to see a Friday. I have had beyond a trying week. What I absolutely love though is I kept my ish together. I did not turn on myself, get too frazzled, angry, stressed out, or too far down the stress rabbit hole. Don't get me wrong there were several moments I seriously considered fleeing. I keep my passport in my wallet at all times for a reason. You never know when you just might crack and need to leave. I have been stressed on personal fronts, I feel like I am ignoring my mom, my apartment is a disaster, my finances have been left a little too on their own and now I am paying for it, and I did not eat so well this week. On an even bigger bummer note I had to miss FitBloggin'. I have been on the road for work, and have more projects going on right now then I can remember. It's a sucky part of my job. Sometimes your personal life just does not matter. The work comes first. The blessing is I can not keep up with the projects and have to worry a little less about my company's bottom line. I seriously can not keep up with the work, and I have had to delegate more effectively, ask for help, prioritize and accept I am not perfect, will not get everything right or done. I also will not be able to do everything the way I would normally like to. I just can't. I would like everything to be perfectly handled, all tidy, efficient, with my hair done nicely and a smile on my face. Instead it was as close to excellent as it could get and staying on top of the wave the best I could.  I also happened to lose power twice at work losing the work people had been working on, had our back up/restore machine break when I needed to restore 4 projects, a co-worker who I suspect in the midst of a mental breakdown and the hits just kept coming. Overall there were some days the desire to eat my feelings was so overwhelming it left me hungry all day. I ate 3 cookies on Tuesday. Not just any cookies but coconut, chocolate chip, macadamia nut. I mean if you're going to eat your feelings better make it good. I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway. I did however throw half of one away. That felt good. It felt good to go yeah I know what's up and why I am doing this and despite giving myself permission to proceed pump the brakes. Plus I felt gross and I hate feeling gross. The bad thing about not eating your feelings anymore is that when you want to you really can't anymore. Your belly becomes a traitor.

What I did not lose sight of this week is...I made it to the gym every single night. I assure you every night I did not want to work out. I wanted to crawl into bed but I didn't. I did feel better post work outs and knew I really did need that. I went to bed earlier then usual every night, and I kept it together. Despite having a week that could have left me miserable, cranky, and unable to shake the stress and let it leak into what time I did have for me I did things wiser for myself. I practiced healthier self soothing techniques. I did yoga in the mornings to get my game face on. I took care of myself and kept it in perspective, and laughed at a lot of the misery. It's one week. Things happen. It gets messy. I can roll with it. I can keep it together. It was really lovely to see this tested, and come out alright. I'm worn out and brewing a mega headache but that could be fun the super tight bun I have been rocking thanks to monsoon season not stress, but I am okay. I would like a cocktail served to be in a big gulp cup, and some REALLY bad mindless TV but I have more work to do and the end is not totally in sight yet. It is Friday and this weekend I plan to work out, eat clean and get back on track. The best part is I do not have too far to go to find that track.


  1. I hate those overwhelming weeks - it's like the chaos floodgates open and nothing can calm the manicness.

    Have an awesome weekend recharging your batteries. Fingers crossed next week is better. And even if it isn't, it sounds like you're gonna roll with whatever's thrown at you admirably:)

  2. Well done. Sounds like you've got it covered
    I'm in a similar place with work being crazy (case in point, I'm here at the office on a sunny saturday afternoon) but unlike last time this happened, I feel much more in control - when I get off track, I don't go quite as far, and I get back on track sooner than I would have even 6 months ago. Its a great feeling, isn't it?
    Have a fabulous weekend :)

  3. Ugh those kind of weeks are exhausting!
    It really does seem as though you kept it together and are ready for some serious r and r over the weekend!

  4. SO glad that you were able to catch the Lykke Li show despite your week of insanity. And I'm totally impressed that you still made it to the gym every single night. You're a rock star.

  5. "I can keep it together." Yep, I totally get the sense that you can. It hope this new week is shaping up nicely for you. weeeee!!

  6. Ladies- appreciate all the kind words and thoughts! So far this week has been a test of my patience and ability to not harm others. Violence is never the answer but some people really make you question that every once a while kindergarten style.