Friday, December 2, 2011


Sorry, the picture does not really do it's volume justice. 
You go for a haircut and walk out looking like you are getting ready for a beauty pageant. I love Janet who does my hair. She's amazing and talked me out of the severe bob I sort of but not really wanted to do. I seriously indulge in hair fantasies. I mean I can barely handle brushing my hair much less a style that requires major styling. Anyway, on occasion she gives me THE MOST ridiculous blowouts. I mean where does she think I am going? I feel both silly and super glam. Happily it did not start raining immediately post haircut and I have a party to go to tonight so it will not be wasted. Win win.

Now on to some updates. I had yoga the other day. It was amazing! Olivia is super great and I am really looking forward to working with her. I was also pleasantly surprised because even though my yoga practice has sucked lately my strength training hasn't. Poses I had struggled with before I really wasn't. It was super encouraging. I however did not plan to well because I had yoga with her and then worked out with Egon that evening. Thursday luckily I did not have too many plans for using my upper body which is good because it was not an option. Holy shoulder/arm soreness, they still hurt for the record.

Operation starve the crush is going pretty well. There's been some sightings and witty banter but I'm taking it for what it is. Whenever I start feeling tempted to overanalyze or talk myself back into obsessing I remind myself if he liked me he would let me know and he's not so I don't want to waste time on him. It's a lengthy mantra but so far so good. It would be really super helpful though if he could just suck in some way at least once. This whole thing though is once again making me look at my relationship between weight and rejection. I was talking to my mom about it and she brought up a good point though. She said lets say he did tell you that you were too big for him, what would that solve for you? Would you really feel better if you knew that. No, no I wouldn't. It would definitely sting no matter how much I think it is THE reason. Sometimes we like to think we know what could hurt us the most and be prepared for it but we wouldn't be. I like being able to assume it like I have it figured out, but I would hate if it's the reason because it is the one thing I am still super hung up on about myself. The rest of me I am pretty okay with and if you didn't like it too bad. The weight, I would have to nod my head in agreement. I think I am closer to giving up this rejection escape hatch. I am over it, and ready to be rejected just because I am just too much awesome contained in one girl, bear with me while I indulge in some bravado....

Food wise, I have been doing pretty well this week. No super stretches without eating, no drinking this week, and the night snacking was under control. I have actually been eating pretty boring this week. Lots of simple sandwiches, chicken, and smoothies. I am pretty exciting ya'll. I did however have a lovely sushi lunch with my friend Kim that was a lovely break from my sandwich monotony and I got to see her gorgeous face. I have to say when I get back to working full time I am really going to miss being able to see my friends all the time. I love being able to have lunch with my girls. I think I forget what they look like in the daytime.

Lets recap shall we...crazy pageant hair, crush extinguishing, and a return to more normal eating. How is everyone else finishing out the week?

P.S. I got the best text ever in the whole world. My friend Lauren from LA, she's coming to NYC next week for a visit!!!! I could not be more excited. Seriously. I might have to take benadryl every night.


  1. Tell him!!!!! I was silent for years concerning an old friend of mine whom I was in LOVE with for that same reason! I *thought* he didn't return my feelings. But when I finally got the courage, years into our friendship, to say something, it turns out he hadn't said anything for the exact same reason. He *thought* I wasn't interested. All the time I wasted...

    You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. There is NO reason a hot young thing like yourself should try to "extinguish" feelings. He'd be lucky to have you. Stop thinking of your feelings as unworthy in that sense; that they don't deserve to be heard, and must be squashed down. Life's too short, and you're too awesome to not share it with someone :)

  2. Microlife- THANK YOU! What amazing words. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you telling your own tale, and for giving me such lovely compliments. If nothing else I am learning a lot about my own feelings regarding guys, rejection, and myself. I am just not sure I have the guts at the moment to fess up to the crush just yet. Knowing myself I will probably blurt it out at some point...