Wednesday, October 24, 2012

For Shame or Not

There's been more in the media lately regarding fat shaming, weight acceptance, and how we discuss weight. Not terribly surprisingly I have read a lot of this and mulled it over. I feel like we're in some new territory where the conversation is changing regarding weight. I like where most people are netting out in that if you're overweight you do not have to defend it. Your body, your business, your choice, fat, thin and everything in between. You do not have to make a case for even though you're overweight you're healthy, or why you like your curves, you can just be, because well it's no one's business but your own. I like this, but find it very new somewhat forbidden territory. It's okay to admit you like your body the way it is? To not defend it? To say I like my belly, or my thighs and not say what I am doing to change them or gasp defend it? Interesting...tell me more. 

You may or may not have heard of a blogger, Stella Boonshoft of the Body Love Blog who was photographed by Brandon Staunton of the Human's of New York blog/facebook page, she assumed he was going to put up the photo of her he took. He didn't. He pulled a photo of her from her blog in her bra and underwear, you can read more about it here. I could talk about how ick I think that territory is but I won't. Yes, she did publish that photo of herself, but it was on her blog and he did not ask for permission to use it, however what was pretty cool is that people responded overwhelmingly positive. She discussed the experience very candidly and her blog is very interesting. She uses the word fat a lot. I have mixed feelings about that, but why do I feel the need to rush in and say you're not fat, almost as reflex I do not question. What does it matter what I think? Her body is for her to define, just like mine is for me. If she feels empowered by the word fat well then more power to her. That is her choice, and she can describe herself anyway she sees fit. My opinion of her body is meaningless. 

Mulling over all this I realize that recently I dislike my body a lot less these days and that it's weird for me. It's weird to catch glimpses, my reflection, a shadow, vague watery representations of myself and think yeah I'm not mad at that. Not only am I not mad at it, I might actually like it. This especially has been happening with my hips. Lately I don't hate them. Lately I kind of really like them and choose to enjoy that they make me feel feminine, and unique. I just cannot be bothered to hate them anymore, and it's less because I have directed my energy elsewhere and more because I don't. I can like how I look right now while working to be somewhere else. I can like having hips and while I do want to continue losing weight not work to eliminate them. These are my decisions to make, and I can enjoy where I am not and not apologize for it. 

My body will continue to evolve through, age, weight loss, hopefully kiddos one day and it would be a shame to overlook what different times bring. It would be a shame to be too busy apologizing for what I am, or what I am not then to not just stop and enjoy it. I may not have these hips forever, I could contract some sort of hip eating virus and have a different build, might as well vamp it up while the hip getting is good. 


  1. Seriously, I am all about shifting perspectives right now. Why do we focus on the few negatives instead of the many positives? And why do we let hips, or double chins, or cellulite, or stretch marks take away from amazing hair, or eyes, or personality, or brain?

    I'm so happy that you're in a good place with your body right now (in a completely non-creepy way!) I know you had some struggles during the summer, but you work so hard at the gym/eating and look stunning so celebrate your efforts:)

    And thanks for the new blog hook-up. Stella's attitude is amazing, especially for an 18 year old.

  2. I think we're taught it's not nice, or it's arrogant to like yourself. There's a HUGE leap between being too full of yourself and not constantly self negging. What it is not so sure yet. I am starting to track my negative thoughts on my food journal out of curiosity of what they are to start trying to stamp them out. It just feels a little free floating sometimes and like a habit. I also think women use it to bond, I mean when you're sitting around shooting the shit how often is someone like oh you think your belly is bad look at mine, rarely is someone like your belly's great and so is mine who cares if they're not perfect.