Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What is a real woman anyway?

Real women have curves...We've heard this. I am not so sure I like it anymore or ever really did. Do real women have curves? Not all women do. Some are narrow hipped, some are full breasted, others not so much are any more or less of a women? I am guessing no, that they are all comprised of the same lady parts.

I think it's just as wrong to equate femininity with curves as it beauty to thinness. No one wins here. There is no ideal or uniform body we can ever achieve. I think proclaiming what you are as the best does not really address the problem. I happen to be curvy, whatever that actually means more on that another time. It in no ways makes me feel any more like a woman then someone who is shaped differently. This whole real women thing...I am not buying. We can not be categorized and defined so easily. I used to spend a lot of time peeping women out in the gym locker room. I swear I am not actually a total perv. Anyway what I began to notice is just how different we all are. In my own battle to accept myself and my body I am trying to notice less what the person has going on next to me and measure myself against it and embrace more that we all just bring something different to the table. We can try to label, attach a battle cry, or a cute little slogan to it all but why can't we just embrace our differences and celebrate that? Enough with the woman off, we're all awesome regardless of our cup size or cliched message we can attach to our bodies.

As my obsession with body image and women grows check out the article below featured on Huffington Post  about talking to young girls. So interesting:



  1. AMEN!

    P.S. That article is amazing. A friend of mine shared it on Facebook yesterday, and it just floored me.

  2. Thanks for sharing that article. I could totally see myself in it - I tend to say "What a pretty/cute/sweet top/dress/shoes" to little girls. It just comes out. I'm going to work harder and not talking about appearance as the first conversational starter!!! I am surrounded by nieces and to be honest, most of them swirl in and would LOVE you to comment on their princess dress or fairy shoes I'm not sure if they will be upset when I don't comment. Hmm. lol. You know what I mean? Sometimes the mum will say "oh, she was so excited to wear this princess dress you must tell her how cute she is" - it totally comes from a good place. I wonder what to do in those situations. Now I've gone off on a tangent. I've been reassessing how I've defined women and our bodies too. I've always had curves (I've an hourglass) but I'm losing them a bit. I'm not losing the hourglass but I'm becoming more petite looking then curvy. And I was wondering how people view that. But who cares right? You are so right. We are all unique. All bring something different. How can anyone say what is the best body shape to have.

  3. Hear, Hear - I was thinking the same thing yesterday after I saw this http://www.broadsheet.ie/2011/06/25/dear-ms-special-k/.

  4. A couple of my friends posted that article on FB yesterday too and I love it. I'm not a mum, and those of my friends who have kids, and little girls esp, live back in Aus, but I'm going to be sure to try to take on board the approach she discusses. No wonder girls grow up with complexes when the first thing ppl comment them on is their prettyness or cute dress!

  5. @ Samara I love when articles like this start making the FB rounds. When social media wins.

    @ Hannah I know it's tough. I have cousins who would be crushed if I said nothing I suspect, but also I noticed one year we totally fussed about them and their prettiness one Christmas party, the next year they did not in anyway want to dress up or be super girly. They did not seem to want that attention. Especially the 6 yr old, her sense of self does not completely originate from her appearance for sure. As for your own hot bod changing I think it's one thing to be like huh I'm not what I have always been and notice it. It's all part of the process. I've gone down multiple cup sizes and it's weird! I trust try not to think of it as wrong or bad, just different then what I've known before.

    @ S.N.S this is hilarious.

  6. @ another I agree! The only feedback I really got as a kid was being pretty and sweet. No wonder I felt like I had to look and behave only a certain way. No one meant any harm by it, but my value was definitely communicated to me that way. Be sweet and look pretty. I now am snarky and look quite feral today, how far we come.

  7. Love this. I couldn't have read this at a better time, seriously! What a lovely article. When we talk to little ones so much about their beauty it is such a set up for failure. Five year olds are fussed over much more than ten year olds. So, here is this ten year old that feels less pretty because people fuss over her beauty less than they used to. I am definitely guilty, though!

  8. Hi, new follower here. I love this post! I am looking forward to catching up on your blog. Looks like you have been successful.


  9. Amanda- That's a really good point about as we get older. We all do it and I think on some level know it's not the best thing, but I thought this article was really good at articulating the whys.

    Miss April- Welcome and thank you! I'm doing the best I can learning a lot along the way.