Thursday, June 24, 2010

A lil catch up

I left off with not trying to get my hopes up. Well they were dashed, but that's the hormone influenced life of a woman watching her weight. I was up-ish. This week though I pushed myself to exercise a lot, watch what I was eating and keep on the straight and narrow. It paid off I was three pounds down. Very exciting! I have lost in three weeks, 8.5 pounds which is super cool because now that I am smaller I see the effects a lot quicker. I also had quite the breakthrough last week. I wanted and said in my head to myself I want to binge. Not only did I not binge but I faced my worst fear of being confronted with that feeling. It was very rewarding to see all the work I have done paying off in a moment. My take on it is a bad day is not worth binging after a year and a half of not. There are worst things in life, I can go home relax and call it a night on a bad day. If I binge it will be a bad night, and a bad day to follow feeling crappy about what I did. Not good, and not a a risk worth taking. It was cool though to give myself permission and I say I am doing this, and then in the moment just ask myself what are you doing? Is this really what you want to do? It really isn't. I forget how little food means to me now sometimes and it's nice in these moments to see it reflected. It's when I need it most.

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