So on the final night of my vacation I was laying in bed watching terrible television killing time in San Jose. My phone went off and I had received a text message from Egon, my trainer. Not the weirdest thing we're buddies he had been concerned post earthquake if I was alright.
His text was, I have a problem and maybe you could help. It may be inappropriate-but I'm with Susanna-but I have serious crush on you. Am I crazy? What should I do about it?
I could try to explain how annoying this was but I would fail. I could try to explain how much I felt like he crossed the line but again I would fail. There were more texts, him explaining the earthquake made him think he'd lost his chance to tell me how he felt, and then his meek apology of sorry if your awesomeness overwhelmed me. Puke.
Now a little backstory for you his girlfriend Susanna is a lovely girl who also works at my gym, and who's family is from Costa Rica. She gave me a ton of helpful information for my trip. So I am mad on two levels. One, gross and inappropriate. There's a line and you crossed it, and Two, hello dude you have a girlfriend. Actually, I am mad on three. The third level is he never really owned it. He never really just laid his cards out on the table, he blamed an earthquake and me a little.
Last night, I saw him we were supposed to train. Instead I let him have it. He came at me bizarrely being very patronizing, smirking and dismissive. That's when I let him know he better cut it out or I would get loud. He then said lets talk and rectify the situation so he didn't lose a client and friend. I again corrected his logic telling him he'd lost a client, friend undecided but more then likely. He said I really thought you would just laugh it off and we could be friends, I mean I texted you to start a dialogue and conversation. He emphasized how "carefully" he had crafted his texts to not spell anything out so he had done nothing wrong, and to keep me from being in a weird position. I guess he was referring to the one where he said none of this would change our working relationship and friendship, because that's for him to decide right?
It was a good exercise and worthwhile experience telling him how crappy he made me feel but when he wanted me to explain further, and give him more instruction on how to fix himself I didn't. It's his job to fix himself not mine. I just had to say you made me feel uncomfortable, annoyed, and disrespected and that I was bummed out that things had changed. That I work hard to be accountable, honest, and maintain healthy boundaries and clearly he didn't so working together was no longer in my best interests. I did not try to make him feel better, or backpedal from my own upset. I just rode it out. It made me uncomfortable, I had to avoid eye contact a few times, and when I got home I did eat a whole bar of dark chocolate. I blame a little of that on both it being the 16th anniversary of my Dad's death and watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo ( I love it, but it also gives me the sads). In general it was an emotional day, and there was eating fallout, but today I did feel better and this morning I REALLY felt better. I felt clear and unencumbered by someone else's grossness.