Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Middle Ground

The middle is weird to me. I swing between extremes. This is everywhere. I sleep on the far left of my bed, I like the treadmill to the far right, and I do not like to ever sit in the middle, even if Delta now charges $29 for a window or aisle seat....but I digress. This preference for extremes also trickles into my emotions. It's really hard to just sit in the middle because I am not sure if I am doing anything. When I am on the left or right then I know I'm somewhere. The middle not so much. 

Clearly this is something I need to keep working at because it crops up everywhere. I am seeing this in dating, yoga, eating, working. I want to be one place or another, not just hanging out. In yoga if I need to move my leg a fraction of an inch I want to move it a foot, in dating if I need to just sit tight I want my phone taken away from me to save me from myself, post eating a tremendous amount of brie I want to go vegan, sometimes these extremes make me oh so tired.  The big thing to learn is the middle is really hard because you just have to sit with it. I have never been so good at just sitting with it. This is not new information. Learning to just sit with it and not self medicate has been quite the constant theme. I would be fine with sitting with it if it did not make me want to crawl out of my skin. 

I think what is new is my being able to recognize this is not just an eating thing, it's a life thing. It's something I have to learn how to make some sort of peace with so it does not make me make poor decisions or eat late night bowls of oatmeal. Yeah, that happened. So my question is any middle dwellers out there? If so please share your tips for sitting with it so I don't continue to intensify my holiday carb bloat or run wild through the streets. 

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