Not a huge surprise the eating would reflect the unrest in my life. I have been aware of it and trying to manage it. I even said to her at one point I need to be more vigilant about my choices and she no it's not about the food or being vigilant about that, it's connecting to the emotion behind it. She also pointed out to me was I was managing the using of food as my outlet, but not acknowledging the emotion behind it. This was leading to the mindless eating, and even some middle of the night eating. I have not hugely suffered from that and I am certainly not looking to add it to the roster of ish to worry about. I am still learning how to process emotion and it's still amazing to me these simple things that get pointed out to me that I need to work on and address like acknowledging emotion. I assumed I was but I was not. I was dealing with the eating impulse but not what was fueling it therefore making it harder. Oh the tangled webs we weave!
I am back in therapy and super digging it so far and loving the lady I am seeing but it's probably helping and hurting me by stirring up emotions. For my appointment next week I am to think about what I want to start working on first. Where do I even begin? Body image? Self Worth? Inability to process emotion? The mind boggles at the choices. I am going to keep it simple though and think about what do I want and what do I need to achieve it? I want to be healthy and happy ultimately and I need help learning skills to be more capable of doing that on my own. I love something she said to be when I explained to her part of what had lead me there was feeling stuck. She said based on your history and what's happened to you, you were never going to be able to process and heal from it on your own. You did not get there by yourself you were not going to be able to undo it by yourself. I felt such freedom from that statement, like it's not my fault I am not healed. I told Marisa about it and she said she validated your feelings. I wonder how often we just need how we feel to be validated and that's some of what is so beneficial about therapy. At the very least who doesn't like the idea of having a carved out pocket of time to talk about themselves and their goals once a week? Not too shabby.
How do ya'll feel about emotion? Do you think you process it? Or do you have signs maybe you don't beyond eating?