Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Can I be in Your Club?

I definitely have a cardio routine down pat. I have my favored machines, times, music the whole nine. This makes me in a complete and total rut. I run from time to time but I fall in and out of it. I get bored, and the mental roadblocks get me down. Most of the time when I was running I realized a lot of what held me back was mental. I would get freaked out of nowhere that I was going to fly off the treadmill, or push myself to the point of panicking I would never breathe again. It also made me self conscious. There's nothing like running to make you dial into everything that jiggles, or the force it takes to keep picking your body up and moving it forward. 

Jesse, the trainer I have been working with now for some time pushes me A LOT. We do varied workouts, and he pushes specifically my cardio. He continues to help build up my confidence and manage my fears. When I say I am afraid of x, he offers solutions, or explains why that wouldn't happen. He also most importantly helps me reach my goals. A few months ago I told him I wanted to get better at running. I wanted to improve my form, my speed, and my distance. He leapt on this and has not let me slack on it. He makes me do drills with him, and gives me workouts to do on my own. 

Running like yoga is something I have always wanted to say I did. Not just to look cool, but it was a club I wanted to belong to. The people who did it enjoyed it, and felt rewarded by it. I have kept at the running and now I do run faster. I do feel less jiggle. It makes me feel like my movement and mental state are aligned. The past few weeks I have felt progress. I feel leaner when I run. My stride has improved. I focus more on how much stronger my core feels then how my butt jiggles. 

What's nice about saying a goal out loud and being helped to achieve it is the sense of reward and accomplishment you feel that is pretty much entirely your own. No one can take it away from me. Something I have dialed into lately about what holds me back is this fear of things being taken away from me. I don't really believe I will maintain a healthy weight, I'll regain it. I won't really be able to stay healthy, someone will disrupt it. Running has become this metaphor I can't ignore. I want independence. I want to be able to support my goals no matter what and not be dependent on others. I want to be in my own club and stay there. 


  1. Yes I am slowly becoming part of this club!! And it really feels great!! Good for you for increasing your speed and sticking with it! You go girl :). P.s. thanks for the thoughtful comment you left on my blog. It made me see things from a different perspective. And I really appreciate it :).

    1. Thank you and same to you! We all got to keep on truckin'

      You're so welcome for the comment! Lawdy have I been there, totally sympathize :)

  2. "Running like yoga is something I have always wanted to say I did. Not just to look cool, but it was a club I wanted to belong to."

    Ohmygod YES. Running felt like some kind of holy grail for me. And perhaps this is a little embarrassing to admit, but my first solo run was one of the best experiences of my life. It really is incredibly empowering and liberating.

    I worry a little about my knees, though. I'm also concerned that running too frequently might have a negative effect on my thyroid. How frequently do you run? And does your trainer have you doing intervals or sprints? I wanna know.

    1. Not at all embarrassing, I completely relate. It is empowering and liberating.

      I worry a little about my knees to. Rest days are definitely a little more needed. I generally run 3-5 times per week. I do intervals and sprints depending on the day. I also just start hearing about this running/thyroid link. I am a little skeptical about it truthfully, but women need to monitor their thyroid across the board in my opinion regardless of running. I also think a lot of people who run a lot don't step it up, so if you keep doing the same distance, same pace, for the same time you're going to get the same results. Not running's fault.