I have been doing a lot of new things. New classes, meeting new people, trying new schedules, new, new, new. One of my newer friends/co-workers and I were talking about the FitPerez videos and she mentioned a friend of hers who had lost over 100 pounds on her own. Before I could even think I said I have to meet her, or at least talk to her. Seriously I didn't think, hesitate or question if this was weird. I knew I had to speak to this woman. Jen being the lovely lady she is gave Tina my email and a friendship was born. I can not put into words still two weeks later what at first emailing and then meeting Tina was like. From the very first email I was thought I love this girl, she gets it, we have so much in common, and we speak the same language. Poor Jen was getting bothered by me every few minutes relaying how much I loved Tina from the get go. Tina and I set a evening to meet and share our stories. I could not have been more excited, best blind date ever.
Never has a dinner been so epic for me. Tina lost 155 pounds. I am going to say that again 1-5-5 pounds. She not only lost 155 pounds which is phenomenal, but she has kept it off for 8 years and wait for it....she did it on her own. I literally still am just in awe of her. I have had a nutritionist, trainer, acupuncture you name it on Team Weight loss, and while I feel like I have done a good share of the work I have far from done it alone. I literally can not wrap my mind around it. Tina is an amazing person beyond her weight related achievements.
It was so cool to talk to someone who has also wrestled with what weight loss brings to your life beyond new clothes. There is so much that feels like navigating puberty or something again. Marisa is a tremendous support for me and I do feel like I can discuss anything with her, but at the end of the day she is my nutritionist. It was such a huge relief, and just overwhelming experience to speak to someone, my age, in my industry who has done the same thing. Beyond losing weight we also have a striking amount of similarities. We both favor a strong lipstick color and are striving to move beyond identifying outside of our weight, in terms of gain or loss and enjoy the term of endearment love dove. We spent about 4 hours just talking. We both were brutally honest and probably revealed more then we ever intended but at this point what do you have to lose? I've spent way too long not being honest about my self destructive dysfunctional behavior to hide it from someone else anymore. Especially someone else who might actually understand and have some advice. My friends who I love dearly just do not understand the ins and outs of it and I get that, and appreciate it but to be able to say something to someone and have it understood and completely related to left me both emotionally drained and euphoric. I told both Tina and Jen prior to meeting Tina for dinner, if Jen had not vouched for existence I would think I had made her up and was meeting myself for dinner.
We covered a host of things, how we ended up where we are at, the past, the present what we hope for the future, you name it. I am so happy to have met Tina, and hope we do continue our friendship and think we will. I am also so happy to have been open and honest and revealing as my true self. When you have an eating disorder and are in throes of it you are very much consumed by protecting that disorder and way of what life. It's what you know and how you operate and it's how you cope with life. I no longer cope or try to control my life through my relationship with food but that does not make life any easier. I am resolved not to go backwards and go back to old habits but it is so nice to know there is someone out there I can talk to who gets it. I have had lots of life experiences which have distanced me from my peers, I lived abroad, lost a parent young, and a few others but my point is this is not unfamiliar territory to me. I thought the eating disorders were similar another thing to add to the I am not like everyone else I know pile. I don't think I had realized that for many of these things there are positives and I do have a sense of peace about them, but this one I did feel lonely. I started this blog as an outlet for coping with that and what I keep learning is if I put myself out there I do get support back. It's when I shut down that the negative happens. Had I filtered myself or second guessed myself and not said to Jen I have to meet her, I would not have received one of the best compliments of my life from Tina, and I quote, "You cracked my wall with your intelligence and grace and epic spirit." That's some awesome stuff right there and wonderful to have in my back pocket on the darker days.
Tina beyond being awesome, gorgeous, smart, funny and I could go on is quite the writer. I highly recommend her blog and because I am starting to cook more I can't wait to try one of her recipes. Blog is: http://nomnomsforeveryone.tumblr.com/
We should all be so lucky to meet really great wonderful people as an adult.