I went out not one, not two, but three school nights. I know. I know. I am an old lady who is firmly grounded in my routine. I do not care to deviate from it. I do however like to have fun, and have a tiny case of fear of missing out syndrome. It's a terrible disease. A friend played a show Wednesday night, I went to that, another friend invited me to a play Thursday night, had to go to that, and then tonight dinner and then a visit to the witchy store. I can't.
My friend Jack who is literally the cutest fella ever on the planet went with me to my friend's show Wednesday. Jack's an aspiring actor, and we were talking about friends performing. I said usually it made me kind of nervous. I said I go because I am happy and excited for them, but honestly it gives me a lot of anxiety. What if things go wrong, what if the audience isn't into it, all this Debbie Downer stuff. So the band began, they had technical issues, but they never lost their footing, and then they hit their stride. It's pretty awesome to get to see your friends do what they really love and enjoy it. That never gets old to me. What I also realized is I had none of my usual anxiety related thoughts. Maybe the better I get at putting myself out there, risking something, the more I can relax when someone else does. They're big boys if something happens they'll survive it.
Thursday I went to see the play Really Really, and Zosia Mamet is in. It's a really interesting play, contemporary and I was thrilled I got to see it. So who would happen to be two rows in front of my friend and I? Lena Dunham. I nearly lost my ish. We stayed after hoping to get a glimpse of her, maybe say something, maybe ask for an autograph. I cannot tell you how not those girls my friend and I are. We waited halfway down the block like total theater creepers. We started to creep out the other people waiting for the stars by just stopping halfway down the block and staring. Never mind last night was like hanging out in a vat of ice water. Our excitement about Lena Dunham the work she is doing, and the conversations that surround it, warmed us for about a nanosecond.
When I got home I thought about how lucky I was to get to see people do amazing things, and see amazing people. While I can't be off routine every week, I have my own goals. I do want to think of how I want my own life to be amazing and that does not always lie in the gym and in meal planning.