What a difference a day makes

Yesterday I was buying coffee on my way into work when I got a text from my friend that the video I did for FitPerez.com was live. I thought I was prepared for this news but I really wasn't. Part of me wanted to forget the coffee and flee to the nearest computer. I took a breath, waited for my coffee and strolled as casually as I could to the office. I really do not have that many reservations about opening up my life and struggle, because it's been an overwhelmingly positive experience. It is still super weird to think that over 800 people have watched me share something incredibly personal. Hopefully one person will take away from it that their goals are attainable. Especially in this arena education is key. When food is your outlet and has taken a larger role life in your life then it should be told to diet, or just eat less, or exercise more is just not helpful. I think most people understand the basic principles of weight loss, but they do not understand why it doesn't work for them, or why they gain and lose the same 30 pounds. The unhealthy relationship with food is a tough cycle to break but far from impossible.

In other news I have stayed on a losing streak which is exciting. I hope this continues and I will be at my goal before I know it. I have been sickie this week so I have not been working out that much but trying to do my best. Marisa has two orders of business for me this week, get a physical to see what my blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar has done post weight loss, and find a cooking class. I tend to get into food ruts. For two reasons, 1. I get hooked on things, and have a very addictive nature even healthy things, and 2. I get into safe zones of eating. I have to start branching out and knowing I can trust myself with all my new skill sets to maintain my portion control, honor my hunger/fullness, and not burn the kitchen down.

It's Alive!

My first video is up on FitPerez.com. Check it out it out and check out the site! Lots of good tips. Let me know what you want to hear about as well.

Dear Junk Food

We have to break up. It's been a long affair but I know you are just no good for me. I have been off processed food now for some time. Several months, and I hate to admit but I feel better. Food does taste better, fruit sweeter, and even sugar. I quit using splenda and I have been amazed at how much sweeter things taste to me now. I gave up desserts recently, and now wine tastes like liquid cake. Pretty amazing really. I still have a hankering for junk on occasion but now that I have stayed away from it for months it is so much easier to not fall back into the cycle of having it, wanting more of it, and so on. Below are my reasons why I now no longer eat processed food, not because I know I shouldn't but because I do not want to. Progress!

1. This is vain, but so be it, my skin looks infinitely better when not eating processed food. I also have more energy.

2. Fruits and vegetables taste much better then cleaner you are eating.

3. Natural/Cleaner foods are more nutritionally dense and I stay fuller longer, yippee! Love me some nutritionally dense foods.

4. Natural sugars taste way sweeter without artificial sweeteners, and hyper sweetness of refined sugar. Seriously drink your coffee, tea or what have you without any sweetener in it for one week and then add (1) sugar in the raw packet to it, guarantee it will still taste sweet to you.

5. Reduced headaches, not everyone has headaches, I do and they are better without the junk, same with my allergies.

6. Cravings way more regulated. If I crave sweet fruit, yogurt, and other options way more viable, your body does not actually want candy. Candy is just manufactured to make your body want it. Most food producers are jerks. They do not have your hips best interests at heart.

Boring Legal-ese

Sorry to interrupt with the below message about copyright. Basically if you want to use what I have written you have to credit the blog.



Diary of a Former Food Addict by Diary of a Former Food Addict is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at diaryofaformerfoodaddict.blogspot.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://diaryofaformerfoodaddict.blogspot.com/.

New Season New Changes

Earlier this week I wrote about some changes going on in my life. Well this has continued. It looks like my time in the food addict closet has come to an end. I am going to start video blogging for a website weekly. I am really nervous about this but super excited so we'll see what happens. I hope to be able to share a little of my experience and the information I have found beneficial and useful along the way in a way that others find it accessible as well. Best you can hope for really.

So Much Things to Say Right Now

I am going to attempt to focus my thoughts because it's been a whole since I wrote. Lots going on. New trainer, new goals, new lessons, and new challenges. I am actually learning and redefining what my hunger/fullness is.

This would be a lot easier if my history did not both include restriction and binging. This really monkeys with your sense of true hunger. I do not always know. What I learned recently strengthening these skills is I panic when hungry. I had tried to deny my appetite for so long and then in the recovery process giving myself permission I went way to far. The second I sensed hunger I responded. I am working on this and enjoying the process of learning rather then beating myself up over it. I am a little over the beating up and way more on board with learning and patience. This is a lovely feeling and it is helping me learn more.

Another new development is I am not eating sweets. I am still eating sugar, mostly naturally occurring but no desserts. I have not been 100% on the ball. I have had 3 desserts in 2 weeks which I will take. I was having dessert 1-2 times per day. This ranged from 1 square of dark chocolate to a full blown dessert experience. It was tough at first and still is now, but I see how much more this is a habit then it is an addiction. I am not addicted to dessert like I thought, nor is a cute thing about my personality I feel the need to cling to. I don't need to like sweets to be me. It's been really cool to see myself be open to moving past a habit.

I am continuing to work on my confidence and keep putting myself out there. Out where I don't know but I have been taking classes I always wanted to take, doing things at the gym I thought were beyond me and yes continuing to date. It's still somewhat scary but it gets easier learning to think positive before negative. I literally tell myself to shut up when I got into the icky negative place.

Work has continued to be stressful but I have been doing pretty well at not eating my feelings. Addressing my hunger fullness cues has significantly helped with this because in trying to define how hungry I am I have to look at why I might be. I still eat out of boredom more then I would care to. It's one for the list of things to stay aware of and to have continued patience at addressing.

This week I was 2.5 pounds down which after a few weeks of no losing was a welcomed changed. I was pretty on my game last week, but still had some indulgences so it was cool to really feel like I was living a sustainable lifestyle. I also made a video for a friend in taking a leap of putting my story out there. If only everyone who struggled with their weight knew that there are ways to go about it that don't involve denial and not accepting who you are but embracing and modifying it. It helps keep me committed to living the lifestyle I want to in order to make others aware. I am grateful for that.