Sunday, December 30, 2012

Looking to a New Year

Christmas has come and gone and mine was not too shabby. My brother's predisposition to immaturity sort of worked. His childlike wonderment made things a little cheerier somehow. I got lovely gifts we had a lovely day, and I really can't complain.

What I am going to complain about is how off track I have been! I have been eating holiday treats like they are going to be taken away from me. Chocolate, cocktails, baked goods, you name it, I've eaten it. I now feel gross. This past week was not awful but ending the week Friday with cocktails with the girls, snack mix at the bar, and then chocolate when I got home did not make me feel great.

My trainer is in Europe for two weeks the lucky duck. He left me not only with a workout plan but photos of me in proper form. I have been doing it, and I took a yoga class this week. I remind myself when I want to get down on myself not all is lost. I have been logging workout time, but it feels less about working out which I do enjoy and more about damage control or punishment. You were a bad girl last week, another set of chest presses for you young lady! This is not good and since I do like working out I don't want to taint it.

I'm not making a ton of resolutions this year. I am just going to stay focused on reminding myself that true weight loss changes are about 70% what you put in, 30% about how you work out. I think I like to think it's the reverse. It's not. I totally also allow myself a lot of "food credit" because I am diligent in working out. I fall into the trap of I can eat that I work out 5 times a week. Yeah...that's not really the kind of math I am after. I am not trying to stay in the same place. I want this to be the last year I end thinking about my weight loss goals. I would like 2013 to be the year about learning to maintain. I have to push through though and think about what I am willing to give up to get there. I have not sacrificed a lot in the past few months. I eat my chocolate, drink my vodka sodas and then wonder why I only lost half a pound. It's not a great mystery least of all to me.

I have a lot on my side. I have experience, goals, healthier coping mechanisms, support, I have what I need to succeed and I care about myself enough to push for it. Things happen when we're ready for them and I think now I am ready to push past oh this is good enough, I can wear clothes I like, I feel more comfortable this is good. It's not. I want a body I am proud of not one I just accept.

wait he's on vacation and I have to do this? NOT FAIR! 

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