Things That Will Make You Feel Alone

Lately these random things keep happening that emphasize how on my own I am and feel. I like it but there are moments I feel like I have traded my life for some sort of sitcom-esque escapade of a life being changed. I have never been a huge homemaker. I never had the time or desire. I had some capacity for it. I can cook, I can clean, I can decorate, I just choose not to. It bores me. I should say it bored me. Now I am a woman on a mission. I am so into it. I have been pouring over recipes cooking all those things I never had time to, picking up those bits and bobs I had always wanted as finishing touches, and cleaning. A lot. Not being exhausted and stressed makes this a lot easier. I need to find a patron so I can just swan about in my domesticated bliss. Wait, that's a terrible idea that would lead to boredom, baking, and a lot of weight gain.  I miss work. I miss the pressure, and the way it used my brain and sometimes I feel a little lost without that, but in the meantime I am loving getting to explore this whole other world I have hugely ignored up until now.

Ways to Emphasize Being Alone:

1. I have a laptop but close to zero software. Oh yeah that's my problem now. I do not have a company that loads it all up for me and a tech guy to help me figure out how to rebuild my itunes library. I do however have a Saturday night I can spend loading, cursing, and rebuilding. 

2. I removed a dead mouse from my apartment. By myself. In a homemade hazmat suit of giant garbage bags, huge rubber gloves, tongs I have no idea how I came to own, and a makeshift helmet. I was all cavalier when the exterminator came and asked if I had boyfriend before putting a snap trap down. I just sort of did not put two and two together. A snap trap while it would take care of my new roomie would also require me to deal with it. I was all no worries, I have a brother, he'll do it. The good news the trap worked, the bad news...I discovered it one evening. Alone. My brother lives in Brooklyn. I spent the next few minutes squealing and wondering how quickly I could move. Texted my brother, contemplated texting every guy I have ever known ever in my phone, and then realized I really could not take another second with it there and lady-ed up. It was awful but I felt pretty triumphant afterwards. 

3. I fixed my toilet all by myself. Again the feeling of triumphant did not really match the action, but whatever I will take it. I will take it all day long, and put a gold star next to my life chart. 

4. I am figuring out health insurance. Ugh, what a pain. I have no idea what 90% of it means, I just keep asking in a cavewoman like fashion I just want to make sure if anything ever happens I am covered. That apparently is not helpful to the people trying to create your insurance plan. 

5. Losing something makes you appreciate what you do have. I appreciate these small things so much and find myself so much less irritated by life and what comes with it. I might be alone, but I'm not lonely and I'm not incapable. I mean I can fix a toilet. Check me out.