A Good Problem to Have

One of the best things about being unemployed is the vast amounts of free time I have at my disposal. I have been super proactive about taking advantage of this. In fact I have been somewhat annoyed by my lack of free time. I had some pretty big plans for binging on reality TV and doing nothing and I have yet to get to it. I think not having a job makes me feel even more pressure to stay busy. Truthfully I am a little worn out because unemployed does not equal not busy. Who knew? A recent development is I have been writing. A lot. And with a partner. 

More about this partner. I met him at my gym funnily enough. He is a good looking guy who I completely misjudged. I thought he was like some of the other guys at my gym a moderately successful male model and probably a bit douchey. All of this judgement is based on the fact that when he's working out he has mean face, not at all on his behavior making me an a-hole. Anyway we became acquainted started chatting and I realized two things. 1. he is quite possibly one of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever met and 2. He is ridiculously funny and often not meaning to be which I think is the best kind of funny. He also is not a male model and seemed somewhat horrified I thought that was a possibility. My bad, but maybe turn down the ridiculous good looks? 

When I got back from LA I was catching up with him about the trip telling him about the meetings I had and what not and how someone had suggested development to me. He asked me if I had any ideas and I said not really. He happened to have a good one, and because he is the nicest guy in the world offered it to me. I can not emphasize his niceness enough, and yet somehow he is incredibly manly. I said why not write it together? The beginnings of our writing partnership were conducted via text and it was one of those out of body texting moments. What have I done?! Why am I actively seeking to work with the super hot guy who makes me a little bit nervous because he's so nice and gives great chat? I have been around attractive men and usually keep my cool, usually, but nice and hot? That's tough. We started working together and it's delightful. I struggled in some of our first interactions to not feel super self conscious of my ideas or to girl out, taking back what I've said and being like oh I didn't mean that, no way, super dumb. I take it all back. He has also been super reassuring and supportive. When we did our first big writing reveal working on our character bios I admitted upon getting his reply that I was relieved and had been a little nervous. His immediate response was why would you be nervous, we're a team, and remember there's no bad ideas we're brainstorming. I felt really different in that moment, in that I can continue being nervous about how people will receive what I put out there or I can learn something from his ease and just worry a little less and work a little more.  It's pretty great and provided I do not self sabotage in some way I think we can do great work together. 

So what's the problem? The problem is I feel like he is on a mission every time I see him to top his previous level of awesome. He's incredibly kind and sweet and if he does not cease and desist with it I will have no choice but to develop a raging crush on him that I will assume zero accountability for. He truly will have brought it on to himself. I mean the phone call with his nieces promising to take them to play with puppies? Come on. He is way too amazing a fella to be behaving like that willy nilly. It's either incredibly irresponsible or he is an evil puppy promising genius.