Magic

I want to start this with so many song lyrics it is not even funny, but the question remains the same. Do you believe in magic? I do. What I like most about the idea of magic is, "magic is a union of faith and action." I love the idea of this. My friend Elba has brought a little magic into my life in many a way.

Initially the magic was of a more practical and tactile variety. She took me to her witchy store where I got a candle made. While I took is seriously, I was a lil yeah, lets see what happens. You tell them what's going on in your life what you want and then they make a suggestion and custom carve your candle. It's pretty badass. I told the lady I felt stuck, stuck creatively, stuck in my love life, and stuck a little in the past. She suggested an uncrossing candle which helps clear out the negativity in your life and things holding you back to determine what you want and how to move forward. Sounds good to me, I'll take one please!

It took me a few days to get around to burning my candle. It's important to focus your thoughts, and intentions. They suggest letting it burn straight for 7 days but if you do not want to do that, every time you relight it you need to focus your intentions. At first I felt a little self conscious and foolish which is revealing in itself. A few days later I looked forward to this part of my day where I would focus my thoughts and take a deep breath and light my candle.

Now, did the candle work? I have no idea, but I do know this. My relationship with my brother is showing tiny signs of improvement. We have been speaking, family therapy is not a total shit show. My mother is coming around to accepting he has either borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. Having words to explain him is helpful and healing.

I have been having crazy vivid dreams that are like little movies each night in my noggin'. It has reignited some of my creativity and brainstorming some potential writing ideas.

As for love...I have taken some risks. Friends and I ended up at the SNL after party and a comedian I know vaguely I approached, and we exchanged numbers. We texted a little and I asked him to a knicks game. He couldn't go because he was performing, but I put it out there.

As I said I believe in magic. I not only believe in it, I might venture to say I live for it. It gives you hope, and keeps a sense of wonderment. We don't know what may or may not happen. My friend Elba who is a more recent friend, gives me some friend magic. She's been a great source of support during my family bs and becoming such a dear and great friend. Her birthday was last weekend, and I thought one magical turn deserves another. Birthday-palooza kicked off with a knicks game on Saturday night. Our knicks plans had changed, because her fiancee had to work and then my friend cancelled, but two of my guy friends were able to join us. One friend I see pretty often, the other not so much. The less frequent is a bebe at 25. Elba's convinced he has a crush on me and she's also pretty insistent that I'm creating a lot more of the friendzone then others. She might be entirely right about this. In fact she is. I very much appreciate her honesty and perspective. I also need to mull over a little more why I do this.

We had too much fun and ended up at Pastis at 2am eating oysters, foie gras, and steak sandwiches, laughing, sharing, and toasting. We need to be friends for about 100 years to fit all the things we plan in. Her actual birthday was Sunday and hoping magic would serve me I made a three layer salted caramel cake frosted with a chocolate ganache. To say I was hurting a little Sunday would be an understatement, but I had a feeling it would work out and it did. My lovely friend Jo met me to help me schlep, cake, trifle, prosecco and other party fixin's to Brooklyn, more magic. Every Sunday should be spent with friends, men that flirt with you, rooftops, sunshine, and singing to someone.

Maybe it isn't magic. Maybe it's doing the work, or opening up, or taking more risks, I don't know. I do know I like it. Feeling more connected to what I want from my life and the people in it is a pretty great feeling.

Glitter & my name ooh la la! 

Jo, dear friend, and trifle protector. 

#3 Kenyon Martin, my future husband. 

I can frost a cake after 2 attempts.