Crush Thoughts

I love a crush. I like crushing on things with triangles on them, wintergreen altoid minis, J.R. Smith of the Knicks and of course the occasional real fella or two. I have a guy friend who's a pretty good friend that I have a crush on. I try to manage it. Not let it spiral, not get too swept up in what does it all mean, but it's tricky. He does things like occasionally hold my hand and these things confuse me. I would list more things that make it confusing but truthfully it makes me feel lame, like I am trying to convince myself and you that I'm not crazy.

I was chatting with a friend about it, and said, "You know the facts remain the same if a guy likes you, he'll do something about it and he doesn't do anything about it." She said, "That's just what we've all been told to believe. What if two insecure people who are friends like each other?" She has a point. Her advice and many others is to just kiss him and see what happens. The thought alone makes me pukey. I try to just shake it off, be friends and leave it at that. It doesn't really work. Our friendship is not completely platonic, but it's not really something else either. Le sigh.

I think part of why I resist making a move is if he rejected me I would probably end the friendship or have to take an extended break, and would feel so so foolish. It's one thing for a first date to blow you off, or for a guy at some bar to not be interested it's a different ball game when it's your friend. I don't know why that is for me, why I just couldn't shake it off and say no bigz. Another reason I do nothing is, I don't think he's a good idea as a relationship which I'm a little more focused on these days. He's got some growing up to do and stuff to sort out and I am not terribly interested in holding his hand during the process. So I don't know what to do with the crush. Ignore it? Act on it? Hope it fades? I've tried stuff, it doesn't seem to work.

Got some advice for me? Anyone? Bueller.....