Bluuurghhh

I am not sure what is worst a bad date or telling someone you don't want to go on a date with them again. Last night I went out with gentleman #2. It left a lot to be desired. I could get crazy in my list of what it lacked, but I won't.

I just spent the majority of the date bored and trying to astroplane elsewhere. I gave it a shot. I gave him a second chance but nope I am not feeling it. He walked me home and wanted to come up but I said no. No way was that happening. After spending the evening complaining about just about everything, displaying some barely repressed anger, asking me nothing about myself, talking entirely about what interests you, and making me walk over 2 miles in heels home I think not. The real clincher was when he asked me how I liked my sex. Yep. He asked that.

In a way him asking me that made me snap to and realize I have to do something. I am bad about checking out and just going with it because I do not want to deal. Dating does not really allow this because what are my options? Continue seeing someone not enjoying my time with them, have an awkward conversation, or feel really uncomfortable and want to eat my feelings. Today I felt really bluuurgh and I knew I had to do something. Friends said, oh it's two dates you don't owe him anything. I disagree. Dropping out on someone is a little sucky and not what I want to do. It also makes me feel on edge because I have not told them not to ask or expect anything of me so they think they can. I dread seeing a new text show up on my phone or doing the whole yeah I am just REALLY busy for the next I dunno lifetime routine. I lady'ed up and texted him and said I felt more of a friendship vibe. He was a little surprised, and I get that because I gave him the indicators that was not the case but he was nice about it.

The lesson I learned I have to be honest. It's just how I roll and avoidance makes me feel crazy and eat yodels. Yeah, that happened. A dude I do not really know or care to know much further is not worth yodel eating.