Silence is Scary

My cable went out last week. This was so not bueno. I had a very trying dinner Tuesday night with someone who I should not have wasted the time worrying about the dinner on. The good news about fearing a sit down with someone who is selfish is they are selfish, it won't be about you. I had some tough things I had to say and some things I needed to be diplomatic about, I was nervous and stressed. After this I got home turned on my TV prepared to DVR the pain away. I seriously was very excited to have an hour or two of mind numbing post dinner with a side of emotion. Uh oh, the screen is all weird...The real cruel twist of fate in this is I work in production and had just finished a series of spots for Time Warner. I do not think the guy trying to help me was amused by me countering him about the triple play offer reciting the most recent voice over to the commercials.

I made an appointment to get it fixed for Wednesday evening. Then I realized I would have to miss yoga. I chose yoga over my TV. I am still a little stunned by this. I never choose something healthy over something that should be done in moderation. I also thought it was extremely interesting with all this discussion of silence and being with myself recently with Marisa this timing was extremely appropriate. If Marisa wasn't totally cool I might suspect we was in cahoots with TWC, but I suspect she actually spends her time doing cool stuff, helping others, and not taking my cable away. I rescheduled my appointment and embarked on silent dinner and evenings.

The first night I had silent dinner I freaked out a bit. I wanted to text someone, call somebody, read something, or eat really fast. I desperately wanted Dumplin' (my dog) to entertain me somehow. She refused to put on a puppet show as directed. Then I took a deep breath and told myself to lady up, slow down, enjoy my dinner and take in the silence. Amazingly I sort of liked it. It took some getting used to it but I really enjoyed it. I appreciated my dinner more, I felt a smidge calmer, and I ate much slower. I am thinking I might keep doing this. Supporters of intuitive eating say to truly be practicing it you have to eat without distraction. I sort of thought that was very high and mighty before. I get it a little bit more now. I was not ready to really focus on eating. I had checked out while eating for so long to be so conscious of it was uncomfortable. I know and better understand now, I deserve to eat, I need to be eat to be healthy, and I have to honor my hunger. I also invest more energy into preparing my meals and should take a moment to enjoy them and appreciate what I have done even though Jersey Shore is super tempting.

The cable is fixed, but I feel a little differently about it now. I love to read, and no TV made me read more again, get into bed earlier, and you know what I liked it. Amazing what you can learn when it's silent.