Friday, September 30, 2011
Days spent cleaning 3
Pounds of paper shredded 57 (true story, took it somewhere to be shredded)
Hours spent yesterday with Katie cleaning 14.
Giants bags of garbage/clutter/nonsense taken out 6
Giants bags of goodies to salvation army 6 bags and 2 car runs.
Last night I barely slept. After Katie left I wandered my apartment just so happy at what it looked like. I honestly felt like I had lost 100 pounds and I sort of did. Well at least 57 I can account for. I dialed in details last night and finally made myself get into bed, but I tossed and turned just thinking of how much more I wanted to do and all the potential I saw. Just being able to clear out so much of the clutter has allowed me to see that potential because that huge obstacle is out of the way. I still have some stuff to get done today but pics soon because I am happy to show my home off now!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
|disco never died hobo|
|Jamin Puech hobo|
|cute print interior|
|Michael Kors neutral hobo|
I love, love, love Kate at Eat The Damn Cake. She's smart, funny, honest and I have yet to read a post that I did not like or take something away from. I really loved this one.
Just found this blog and it's a visual delight, and has lots-o-good stuff.
My friend Theresa and her friend Tressa just started doing make up and blogging and they are hilarious and amazingly talented. Read about their exploits.
Interesting article on blogging:
Hannah Banana, you continue to inspire and amuse me. This post had me shaking my head in agreement.
Thought this article about a music artist who gave herself a makeover and became more of singing sensation and the music bloggers disdain for it interesting.
1. What was the thought behind the bright aqua cords? You have never worn brightly colored pants, much less ones WITH TEXTURE.
2. How many pairs of sunglasses does one face truly need? Not the 800 I have accumulated, or the box I somehow came by.
|P.S. I am super seksi in clean mode|
|wasn't kidding about the box|
Monday, September 26, 2011
My brother happens to be taking Thursday off of work and he is going to come over and help me. This is great but also a little scary because I have a lot to get done to be ready for his pick up services on Thursday. I am also pretty much guaranteed he is going to drive me crazy, but I need help and he's offering. He happens to be a neat freak and great in the home department. It seems unfair I did not get any of that, like not a drop. Not helping this entire situation is I picked up my stuff from work this weekend. I have four more boxes of crap to add to the pile. Great. My old business cards should come in super helpful it was so thoughtful of them to make sure they were included, she said dripping with sarcasm.
I am grateful I have the time to do this. That hopefully I can clean up my act for once and all and create some systems for organization so it never gets to this point again. I am over the chaos. It's not helpful trying to move forward, work from home, or even just feel like an adult. When anyone mentions coming by your apartment and you break into a cold sweat it's time to change.
|The beginnings of my color coded bookcase.|
|Sorry true crime books. Time for you to find a new home.|
|Over it. All of it.|
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
|Lauren & I.|
I am back from the West Coast and getting back into the swing of things. I spent most of yesterday feeling like a zombie. I got back super late and had to be up super early. Not the most optimal combo. I had such a great time in LA. It left me with more questions then answers but that is okay for now. Something I really took away was while LA may not be right for me as a move there was a lot I can take away from the experience. Life is easier there. There is a huge emphasis on quality of life. Everyone works hard but the point is to work hard to get back to your life. I feel like in NYC long hours are more of a badge of honor. You are more different being protective of your free time and striving to have pursuits outside your career. The work home life balance is not as easy to achieve here, because the support is not as present.
The meetings went well and the business style is very different. It's not as direct as here and I felt like I had a lot to learn if I do want to conduct business out there. I saw a client who is a friend as well and he gave me some great advice. He also said and it rang very true to me, " it sounds like what you want is independence." I do. I very much do want my independence. After years working for people I think I have that much figured out. It's not a lot but it is a start. Between connecting with people I got to spend a lot of time with friends. I got to watch Lauren have a total meltdown at the awesomeness of an estate sale, wander the Fairfax markets, have a tasty reuben sandwich at the grove, go to a BBQ and meet some of her friends, be in a house which is a novelty to an apartment dweller like myself, fall in love with chai tea boba, score some brilliant vintage finds, clear my head and know if I want to, I can live wherever I want and be okay.
I got my resume together, I started brushing up my linkedin profile, contacting people and treading water in this new life. I also felt like my head is clear for the first time in a long time. I am capable of seeing opportunity where it lies, being more inspired by my surroundings and appreciating simpler things and pleasures. Just being able to be in a different city with friends who cooked for me was such a great comfort and boost. I have very little figured out yet. I know I want to be creative and trust in my skills and talent. To have the confidence to represent what I know I have to offer and the guts to pursue it.
Some photos below:
|all aboard the party plane, seriously Virgin what's up with the lighting?|
|I love the views flying out west. I am convinced everything is the Grand Canyon.|
|In case you were unsure that is banana bread. Icing infographics.|
|Lauren on our am rye bread bakery run.|
|adorable house we wandered during the estate sale|
|cutest breakfast room I have ever seen|
|Lauren purchased this record player the second we walked in. Then she and our new friend Cheryl tried to make it work.|
|Lauren's estate sale spoils.|
|Now I know where to get a surfboard should the need arise.|
|View of the hills from Melrose on our way to Urth cafe.|
|Dresser I would have bought had it fit in my luggage.|
|buckets of photos of hooters girls. So random.|
|Fairfax market, tables and tables full of old photos. This reinforced again to me why you do not take nude photos. Trust.|
|Working lunch and heaven. Chai Tea Boba, and turkey sandwich.|
|Jo and I loading up the car.|
|Me in a sea of delightful Aussie girls.|
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I am also taking several meetings while I am in LA. Two of these meetings have a lot of promise and I have a loose offer on the table. The offer is outside my comfort zone but not my skill set and could keep me out there through December. This has my family panicked I am moving out to LA. I am open to doing it but now that I am leaving tomorrow it's a little more real and therefore a little more scary. There's also the issue of not having a drivers license. I am bitter about that. I really thought I could make it through life without dealing with this. Really did. I guess making it to 31 is not a bad run.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It's officially a week now that I have been unemployed. I have yet to really set any sort of routine. My days have consisted mostly of being on the phone and enjoying my downtime. I nearly killed my dog taking her for a mega walk the other day. She may grow to not like that I am around so much and marching her around the city. I just walked around no iPod on and took in the fantastic city I live in. I do not even know that last time I got to just walk with no destination in mind. I have led a really busy fast paced life for 13 years here. I have always been go go go and on to the next thing with no time to waste and goals to reach. My goals are very different right now. I am taking each day as it comes because this is totally new territory for me. I have never not had a job, a concrete goal in mind, or a destination I was heading.
Today was the first day I woke up a little down. I just wanted to stay in bed and not deal with anything. I wanted to just pull the covers over my head. I felt very overwhelmed. I think some of this had to do with being a little worse for wear. I went to a really amazing party last night. The blog Advanced Style hosted a party and my 91 year old girl crush was performing. Ilona was amazing and I got to meet her! Leading up to meeting her I said to my friend Jen, I want to meet her and she said go up there go for it. I got really shy and nervous about it. Then I quickly dashed up on to the stage to shake her hand, tell her I loved her, and then quick as a cat was back with Jen. Jen said you were too fast I couldn't get a picture. I felt like that moment in some ways sort of sums up where I'm at. I feel a little shy and nervous but have to keep making dashes up to the stage. Maybe not to meet 91 year old women, but if I want to continue figuring out who I am, what I want to do, and how to make myself happy on my own terms there are going to be a lot of uneasy moments. Change is not comfortable. I think this morning that much of what lies ahead for me had sunk in.
|Feeling a little bolder post Ilona meeting I asked this fabulous lady for a picture. Check out her bangles, my hero.|
|91 year old Ilona Royce Smithkin cabaret.|
|Ilona ready to meet her adoring public.|
Monday, September 12, 2011
Last Wednesday I was given a gift. A very complicated one I have a lot of feelings about but a gift nonetheless. What was this gift? I lost my job. The company I worked for restructured and restructured me out. The decision was explained by financial streamlining. I am sure this is a factor but the real reason in my opinion is different. I no longer belonged there. I no longer fit. I no longer was growing, prospering or doing my best work. I was checked out, unsettled, and frustrated. I could list all the negatives, and dwell on it but it won't help me or really change anything.
I am freaked out by what lies ahead. I have never been unemployed. I have worked with a chunk of the people I just left for almost 9 years and the majority of my career. I have no idea what is before me. I do not completely think I grasp what has happened. I am still in shock. All of that being said I am so excited. I am so excited to be free. To be free of old dynamics, old habits, and old roles. I have no idea what lies ahead of me. What I do know is my eating has been healthier and more balanced then it has been for months. I have been totally overwhelmed by the kindness and support people have shown me. I am going to LA this weekend. In the meantime I am going to pick myself up, enjoy some downtime, and tackle the scariest thing on my plate what do I want to be when I grow up.
These past few months I have felt jealous of the people around me. Their lives moving forward, having changes, and evolving. It hit me recently what I was jealous of. Most of these people were actively making choices, acting on them and carrying them out. I was drifting. I kept saying oh I can't do that, or I wish. Careful what you wish for. My life is moving forward and I have the chance to decide where.